Skip navigation

Tag Archives: peep one

So the other day I stopped by my local international food market. There I stumbled upon something I had never heard of, a male enhancing energy drink. It goes by the name “Peep One”.

I have always thought there was a certain sex appeal to energy drinks, but perhaps that’s due to those late night “Girls Gone Wild” commercials where, for some reason, everyone is holding a Rockstar… Either way I’ve always liked energy drinks because they’re cold, they get you energized and, maybe now, “excited” too? The way the Peep One is marketed is genius. American energy drink companies should learn from Peep One. Check out the back.

The back

The back

I never knew that Taurine enhances internal organ functionality. I always pegged it for a cheap caffeine substitute. Why don’t American energy drink companies mention this!? Screw water, this shit enhances the functionality of my internal organs. The only thing American energy drinks mention is how you shouldn’t have more than three a day, and how pregnant mothers, young children and those sensitive to the effects of caffeine should avoid the drink altogether. That’s not enticing at all, much less sexy. However, no matter how effectively Peep One sells it’s product on the back of the can, nothing can beat their website. Here’s an excerpt describing their product:

The drink innovation peep one represents a novelty on the market. Otherwise, there is no equivalent drink neither in direction nor in product quality.

peep one is clearly differentiated from the traditional Energy drinks on account of his effect, contents cloths and the product statement.

It closes a gap at the market concerning the combination of eroticizing and beverage innovations stimulating at the same time. The stimulating effect is to be divined during the first odour test already. Odour is harmonious, combined without blemish tones and synthetic taste analogies with purely natural associations. Through the balanced game of acid and sweetness, the request for further pleasure grows up very fast.”

I’m actually not sure what all that means but they had me at “combination of eroticizing and beverage innovations stimulating at the same time”. The drink sounded amazing, now it was time to taste it. For fear of being seeing in public drinking an “adult beverage” while potentially pitching a tent I decided to perform my taste test alone in private, behind closed doors. The drink actually tasted really good. It wasn’t tangy like most other energy drinks. It had a fruityish taste. It tasted fairly similar to the Tab energy drink. However, there was no sign of change to Vlad the Impaler. I was overcome with utter disappointment. I’ve been fooled! This is just a regular energy drink!!! It’s not erotic at all!! Then it hit me, I had failed to abide by the warning posted on the Peep One website.

One senses no effect of sexual stimulating, if there is nobody to divide it with.”

So remember kids, drink Peep One responsibly. Make sure your partner is their.

Final Verdict:

Packaging: 6/10

(though the website makes me question whether this drink should be allowed to be sold in America)

Taste: 10/10

Sex Appeal: 8/10