Aloe Vera Pulp Juice

A lot of Asian drinks seem to stem from a conversation that goes something like “I bet you couldn’t sell…” Speaking of which, have you heard of the new eel drink? . Before today my knowledge of aloe vera extended no further than a decorative plant and something you rub on sunburns. I would never imagine that it would be consumed by people, much less mass produced. So I was a little surprised when I stumbled upon the Aloe Vera drink section at the local Asian market. There was aloe vera in cans, in bottles, with pulp and without pulp, a bit like buying orange juice. I figured, if I’m actually going to drink aloe vera juice, I should get some with pulp.

Doesn’t the picture of the juice look appetizing? Before I took a sip I decided to read what exactly I was going to be drinking.

Yep, first ingredient on the list is aloe vera pulp. This isn’t an aloe vera flavored beverage, this is aloe vera with some sugar and honey added. Something I’ve noticed about Asian beverages is that a lot of them don’t use corn syrup; instead they use sugar and honey which is very refreshing. Here’s a picture of it poured into a cup.

All that white stuff floating around is the aloe vera pulp. There was a lot of it. I was actually pretty surprised when I took my first sip. It didn’t taste bad at all. It mostly tasted like honey and suger with a little hint of, what I guess is, aloe vera. The little chuncks of pulp werent bad either. They held a little flavor but mostly tasted like watery sugar. There was a lot of pulp though and by the end I was pretty much just eating aloe vera pulp. All in all it wasn’t bad at all, but next time I’m definitaly not buying the pulp version.

Final Verdict:

Taste: 7/10

Drinkability: 5/10

Cure for sunburn: 0/10

(unless you pour it over yourself)

Elephant Beer

So the other day I happened to be at a World Market where I stumbled upon a large selection of beer I have never seen before. I, of course, was ecstatic and with a little encouragement I was able to convince my girlfriend that we needed to get drunk off of beer we had never had before. The beer is called Elephant by the Carlsberg Group, a brewery located in Copenhagen, Denmark.

The beer had a brown amberish color and there wasnt very much head. The taste was a little sweet and a bit bitter. It was a bit thicker and heavier than I anticipated. You could definitaly taste and feel the 7.2% alcohol. All in all I’d say that it wasn’t a bad beer however there’s nothing really exciting about it. I do appreaciate beers that are able to pull of a high alchohal percentage well, Duvel for example, but Elephant doesn’t quite make it into this category.

Final Verdict

Taste: 6/10

Alcohol .72/10

Energy Drink Gone Kinky?

So the other day I stopped by my local international food market. There I stumbled upon something I had never heard of, a male enhancing energy drink. It goes by the name “Peep One”.

I have always thought there was a certain sex appeal to energy drinks, but perhaps that’s due to those late night “Girls Gone Wild” commercials where, for some reason, everyone is holding a Rockstar… Either way I’ve always liked energy drinks because they’re cold, they get you energized and, maybe now, “excited” too? The way the Peep One is marketed is genius. American energy drink companies should learn from Peep One. Check out the back.

The back

I never knew that Taurine enhances internal organ functionality. I always pegged it for a cheap caffeine substitute. Why don’t American energy drink companies mention this!? Screw water, this shit enhances the functionality of my internal organs. The only thing American energy drinks mention is how you shouldn’t have more than three a day, and how pregnant mothers, young children and those sensitive to the effects of caffeine should avoid the drink altogether. That’s not enticing at all, much less sexy. However, no matter how effectively Peep One sells it’s product on the back of the can, nothing can beat their website. Here’s an excerpt describing their product:

“The drink innovation peep one represents a novelty on the market. Otherwise, there is no equivalent drink neither in direction nor in product quality.

peep one is clearly differentiated from the traditional Energy drinks on account of his effect, contents cloths and the product statement.

It closes a gap at the market concerning the combination of eroticizing and beverage innovations stimulating at the same time. The stimulating effect is to be divined during the first odour test already. Odour is harmonious, combined without blemish tones and synthetic taste analogies with purely natural associations. Through the balanced game of acid and sweetness, the request for further pleasure grows up very fast.”

I’m actually not sure what all that means but they had me at “combination of eroticizing and beverage innovations stimulating at the same time”. The drink sounded amazing, now it was time to taste it. For fear of being seeing in public drinking an “adult beverage” while potentially pitching a tent I decided to perform my taste test alone in private, behind closed doors. The drink actually tasted really good. It wasn’t tangy like most other energy drinks. It had a fruityish taste. It tasted fairly similar to the Tab energy drink. However, there was no sign of change to Vlad the Impaler. I was overcome with utter disappointment. I’ve been fooled! This is just a regular energy drink!!! It’s not erotic at all!! Then it hit me, I had failed to abide by the warning posted on the Peep One website.

“One senses no effect of sexual stimulating, if there is nobody to divide it with.”

So remember kids, drink Peep One responsibly. Make sure your partner is their.

Final Verdict:

Packaging: 6/10

(though the website makes me question whether this drink should be allowed to be sold in America)

Taste: 10/10

Sex Appeal: 8/10